one might say we're banned from that church
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
