we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
