As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just found puke in my bra..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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