it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
the liver wants what the liver wants
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
