Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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