Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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