yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
