dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
