i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
