I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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