You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
