Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
