I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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