what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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