i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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