somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
