you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
