I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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