if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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