We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
