Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
