Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
