Too much gin, very little bucket
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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