I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
