Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
