Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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