haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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