He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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