wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
