You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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