I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize