The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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