so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize