don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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