the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
