i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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