i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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