Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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