no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
