Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize