i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
