I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
