I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
