I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
