Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
