She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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