yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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