a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
