We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
