I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
