He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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