At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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