Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
