My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
