Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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