i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize