I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
