i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize