Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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