it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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