The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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