if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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