The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
