Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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