They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
