that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
