Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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