I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize