I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
