Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
