East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
