Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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