so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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