You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
