P.S. I can't hear my feet
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
