If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize