i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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